IM STILL LAUGHING AT THIS
so with all of this Yahoo buying Tumblr crap going on
if we ever need a place to relocate there’s always
hey so whats the doctors name
my helpful tumblr followers
#oH MY GOD #OH MY GOD??? #SEND HELP #THAT SANTA HAS LITERALLY NEVER BEEN MORE TERRIFIED IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE #’AND WHAT DO /YOU/ WANT FOR CHRISTMAS’ HE ASKS AS ROSE PERCHES DAINTILY UPON HIS KNEE #’I’D JUST LIKE MOMMY TO LOVE ME AGAIN’ SAYS ROSE ‘IT HASN’T BEEN THE SAME SINCE DADDY LEFT’ #’SIS YOU KNOW YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT DADDY’ DAVE CHIPS IN AS HE SPRAWLS ACROSS SANTA’S OTHER KNEE #’THE NICE POLICEMAN TOLD US THAT WHEN HE WAS HELPING US GUNPROOF THE HOUSE.’ #SANTA FEELS COLD SWEAT DRIP DOWN THE BACK OF HIS SUIT #HE HAS NEVER BEEN MORE UNCOMFORTABLE #’DO YOU DO THIS OUT OF PHILANTHROPIC URGES?’ ASKS ROSE #’OR IS THIS ODD CHOICE OF PROFESSION PERHAPS ROOTED IN THE LACK OF A REASSURING AUTHORITY FIGURE IN YOUR OWN CHILDHOOD?’ #’WHERED YOU GET THE SUIT BRAH’ SAYS DAVE ‘LETS BE HONEST I COULD ROCK THAT SHIT MORE HARDCORE THAN ANY OF YOUR WEIRD ELF BASED PORNOS’ #SANTA TRIES TO REACH FOR THE BUTTON UNDER HIS CHAIR THAT WILL ALERT MALL SECURITY#ROSE LETS OUT A LADYLIKE SHRIEK AND DAVE LEAPS TO HIS FEET TO DEFEND HER VIRTUE #THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF SANTA’S LIFE
i ship that shit…
dante ships rose/santa/dave i have reblogged this post to immortalize it forever
Do you ever look up from reading a book and get disoriented because you’re actually in your bedroom or class or somewhere that isn’t the story?
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE OMG
And now I’m a million times more clever, and what a brain. Not a human brain. Not even slightly human.
It’s so weird when people are squeamish about seeing brains because that’s their own brain making a decision that it looks disgusting. Brains don’t like how they look.
self conscious brains aww
brains that don’t like what they look like because they’re not supposed to be visible
because if they’re visible something is deeply wrong
you might say it’s braingerous
a brain made the decision to make that joke
i took a picture of a white girl taking a picture of her starbucks
she looks so happy
Men Experiencing Labor Pains
With their wives supporting them.
HAHAHHAHAHA TOO GOOD
I bet a kick in the balls would feel real good right about then.
“Men can handle anything”
“Women exaggerate everything”
And then they realized just how wrong they were
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
and this is why I love Whovians.
THEY HAVE NUBS INSTEAD OF LEGS.
so i was watching the news and this 2nd grader wrote this to the president, vice president, and a congressman. biden was the only one to respond yet. LITERALLY.